Your Attitude will determine how you see this glass! Pic credit: Pixabay
Have you ever wondered what is that one key characteristic of successful people?
Their attitude!
Rather their positive and never give up attitude!
Often, we have seen very talented people not making it big in life. At the same time, we have also seen average people climbing heights of glory. Why?
Your attitude towards life decides everything. Be it your success, your well being or your relationship with others.
So, what is this attitude all about?
The dictionary meaning of attitude is “the way that you think, feel or behave”.
As per psychology, an attitude is referred to a set of emotions, beliefs, and behaviours toward a particular object, person, thing, or event. Attitudes are often the result of our experience or upbringing, and they can have a powerful influence over our behaviour.
Attitude is how we judge/evaluate people, events, objects etc in our life. It can be extremely positive to extremely negative.
Our response (behaviour) is the result of our attitude.
How one builds up an attitude?
Mainly through our upbringing (influence of parents and family), values and beliefs, experience, learning, observation, social factors including our role in the society and the norms of the society.
Can one change his or her attitude?
Yes, of course! There are many ways to change your attitude tilting it towards more positive mindset like identifying your strength, being non-judgemental, expressing gratitude, positive affirmations, celebrating other’s success, focus on your wellbeing, keeping your thoughts positive and likewise.
Attitude is how you look at your life! Why not look at the brighter side of it?
And as the famous quote by Zig Ziglar sums it so well:
“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”
Positive thoughts create positive results! Pic credit: Google
If I am to give you only one tip to improve your life then it would be- Be Positive always!
Whatever be the adversity, always have a positive frame of mind. Always think that good will happen…soon! Hope for the good and be prepared for the worst. This is the ideal way to lead our lives. Remember, over thinking on any situation will not lead to a solution rather it will kill you slowly. It’s like over eating…not going to help you. So, always be optimistic. And believe me, when you start thinking positively, positive things start happening to you.
It’s the most fundamental law of the universe- Law of attraction! Have positive thoughts and you will attract positivity from the universe.
Life is full of challenges…every single day. You need to be mentally strong and positive to fight out those challenges. There would be tough times time and again, and again you need to be positive to face the tough times boldly.
So, always be positive howsoever bad the situation might be and you will see that it’s not that difficult to lead a happy and peaceful life!
A calm and relaxed mind helps you to take the right decisions
Peace of mind is very important in life!
How can we achieve it?
Meditation, deep breathing exercises, money, power, health, relationships…
What contributes to the peace of mind?
Duke University did a study on “peace of mind.” Factors found to contribute greatly to emotional and mental stability are:
1. The absence of suspicion and resentment. – Nursing a grudge was a major factor in unhappiness.
2. Not living in the past. – An unwholesome preoccupation with old mistakes and failures leads to depression.
3. Not wasting time and energy fighting conditions you cannot change.- Cooperate with life, instead of trying to run away from it.
4. Force yourself to stay involved with the living world. – Resist the temptation to withdraw and become reclusive during periods of emotional stress.
5. Refuse to indulge in self-pity when life hands you a raw deal. – Accept the fact that nobody gets through life without some sorrow and misfortune.
6. Cultivate the old-fashioned virtues—love, humour, compassion and loyalty.
7. Do not expect too much of yourself. – When there is too wide a gap between self-expectation and your ability to meet the goals, you have set, feelings of inadequacy are inevitable.
8. Find something bigger than yourself to believe in.-Self-cantered egotistical people score lowest on any test for measuring happiness.
When you are going through the challenges in your life, it is seldom that one may think of them as opportunities to grow and become a stronger person. But research has shown that past adversities are helpful in making you strong to face future challenges in a better way. Your past struggles make you more resilient- your ability to bounce back from adversity and grow from the challenge.
While dealing with your adversity you come out as more empathic, confident, more positive (optimistic), losing fear for the struggles/challenges and take them head on…so on and so forth.
Researchers have found the following growth-oriented factors as reported by the people who have gone through some difficulties or adversities in their life:
Increased appreciation for life
More meaningful relationships
Increased personal strength
Finding new ways for growth
Becoming more spiritually inclined
So, as you go through whatever adversities in your life at any point of time, just think of it as an opportunity to become stronger, more resilient and moving towards a better tommorrow!
Coaching is a journey that self-aware people undertake to achieve professional and personal growth, to enhance their overall quality of life in terms of well-being and to achieve those goals which at some time they thought were impossible to achieve.
Role Of A Coach
The coach will help you to find the resources in yourself to achieve those goals or objectives that you have in mind related to your personal and professional life. The coach takes you to this journey of growth and success through new perspectives. The coach will be the best person who will know the gap between where you are now and the goal that you have in mind and will ensure you work tirelessly to reach that goal.
The coach will always talk about specifics. He will convert your goals into smart goals- specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely. You just can’t say ‘I want to do better in my Life’ or ‘I want to perform better at the workplace’. Your coach will make you talk specifics and ensure you have specific achievable goals. Your coach will be the realistic optimist. He will ensure that you have realistic goals that are attainable in a timely manner.
A good coach will always help you look better rather than trying to make you look good. This implies that the coach will not look at your past to decide or judge on your future. Many of us believe that our intelligence, our personality, and our physical aptitudes are fixed — that no matter what we do, we won’t improve. As a result, we focus on goals that are all about proving ourselves, rather than developing and acquiring new skills. Your coach will help you change this mindset and will help you develop and acquire new skills to achieve your goals.
Your coach will help you to embrace the fact that you can change. This will allow you to make better choices and reach your fullest potential. Better choices will ensure you better results which will ultimately help you in all spheres of your life; at home and at the workplace.
A coach understands that you are not only capable but also resourceful within yourself. He will help you in discovering your dreams and goals and will provide clarity by asking you to explore more into it by doing a deep dive. The coach will help you to explore and generate strategies and plans to execute these goals by giving you full responsibility and accountability. He will provide you a supportive and motivating environment to explore what you want in life and how you might achieve those aspirations and fulfill your needs.
Coach As Your Partner
In your coaching journey, the coach will often play the role of the sounding-board to your experiences and will help you commit to an action plan by allowing you the personal space and support you need to grow and develop. The coach’s key role is to assist you in maintaining the motivation and commitment level needed to achieve your goals. He will make you understand and realize that you are the driver of your life engine!
Here a word of caution! Please remember that your coach is not a therapist who will provide you with medical advise. Likewise, the coach will also never provide you with a tailor-made recipe for success. Rather it will be you who under a coach’s patronage will be driving solutions in accomplishing your goals.
Does this sentence often bother you? Are you the one who spends a lot of time thinking on ‘What if….?’ before starting anything new? Do you often think of the negative aspect of life even if there are no valid reasons to do so? Do you avoid doing most of the things that you would otherwise have loved to do just because you felt “what if….?” What is this ‘What if…’ actually all about??
Let us see some examples of ‘What if…’
-My family may not like it
-I might fail
-People might mock at me
-I might be humiliated
-I may lose money
-My friends may disown me
-I may lose my reputation
-My limited potential might be the hindrance
So on and so forth…!
Did you observe something common in all the above ‘assumptions’? Yes, these all are assumptions only as these did not occur still…only You assumed that they might occur!
Did you notice something else too!
Did you notice the fear factor in all the above assumptions?
This is what is called as the fear of the unknown.
And this is true for most of us. It is a different thing that we all have apprehensions about many of the things in our life and it plays an important role in making decisions towards something that we intend to do or accomplish. But till we limit ourselves to the apprehensions level only, we are good. Apprehensions are a good indicator that will make you weigh all pros and cons before making the right decision. But when that apprehension turns into a fear, you lose the battle. You will not be in a position to take the right decision any more with that fear looming in your head. Rather, you will not be able to make any decision at all! And your status quo remains. You are stuck where you are; no progress made. Life goes on for you!
The important thing to understand here is that you have to come out of that Fear in your head. Unless and until you do that, it will be difficult for you to accomplish anything important in your life- both personal and professional. And believe me, it will not be an easy task for you to achieve that mental state- where the mind is free of Fear!
So, how does one achieve that state of mind? I will share something from my own life. I too had lots of fear as I was growing up. Moving from adolescence state to a young man and then to crossing my midlife, I was continuously faced with so many fears that many times I wondered if at all will I be leading a free and happy life devoid of all my fears? Then as I matured with age and experience, I slowly started taking risks; risks of attempting to give an attempt to all the things that I had some kind of fear attached to them. And I was not only astonished but was also pleasantly surprised to find that most of the fears that were associated with the activities that I attempted were mere fears only!
In practical life, they(the fears) just don’t exist! Yes, this is very true and based out of my own experience. And the things that I attempted ranged from taking on a new course at forty-five to starting a family during the same age, accepting a new job offer in a completely new domain to drawing boundaries in my relationships so that I maintain the sanctity of my own space. My belief in people enhanced to a level that now I give the benefit of the doubt to almost everyone with whom I interact. I don’t doubt people anymore. I have relinquished all fears in my mind and have attempted new initiatives in my professional career having ventured into the territories quite unknown to me in my professional life.
These are very few and some very basic examples though but the list is long…
Here is the Key; to begin with, attempt very small or not very significant fears of yours and keep repeating the action(your attempt) accumulating the small victories. After a point, you will have the confidence and the mental strength to attack your bigger fears. And slowly you will achieve bigger victories. You will be ready to take calculated risks in your life and will make significant progress.
And you know what? The biggest lesson for me in all this was:
People give a damn about you!
So, the biggest worry that we have in our mind ‘what people will say’ is so irrelevant and obnoxious.
And remember: On the other side of your FEAR….lies your SUCCESS!
