We have often seen in our daily life, in our home and at work place, how some people doing so many things single handed but always wear a smile on their face. We have seen them taking all the pressure or stress and still delivering the results in a timely manner .Despite all obstacles and issues (personal and professional) they never fail us in their behaviour and delivery. They portray a calm and restricted response in all adverse situations. Often we hear people say ‘Oh, how efficient they are!’ or ‘My god! They are really mentally strong!’
So, did you ever wonder what does it mean to be a mentally strong person? Did it ever cross your mind that, is being mentally strong an inborn quality or if it is a skill that can be acquired? Do you find yourself mentally strong enough?
Firstly, you need to know that you cannot become mentally strong overnight. It needs time and patience. A mentally strong person would be someone who can take pressure, both at work and at home, that is devoid of any anger, panic or any unnatural form of behaviour. A mentally strong person remains calm under pressure while performing his obligations in an compromised manner. He or she deliver results,takes criticism on face without getting hyper, mostly responding to the difficult situations rather than reacting to it, maintains his or her cool in all kind of adversity and finally have the guts to bear the pain without complaining. Yes, these are the attributes of a mentally strong person.
How can you attain these attributes? Well, you need to have the following attributes in your character to help you become mentally strong:-
Cultivate a sense of self confidence. Develop self-confidence over a period of time by working out independently, achieving small goals and small success. Reach out for help only when it is critical or if there is an emergency. Be very hands on with whatever you do. Have faith in yourself. Remember knowledge is power so acquire as much knowledge as you can by reading books on various topics. Gain experience in different environment and with different people. Getting exposure is really important. Remember, the dictionary meaning of self-confidence is ‘a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement’.
Another way of developing self-confidence is to learn from your failures. Instead of losing heart and sulking over your failures, do a stock taking of the events and move ahead. There will be many more opportunities to prove yourself but just ensure you are not repeating your mistakes. This way you will gain confidence in yourself and in your abilities.
‘The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you.’ — William Jennings Bryan
One of the toughest things in the process of becoming Mentally Strong is to learn how to face the criticism. There would be plenty of occasions when you will be criticized- un-necessarily. You have to learn to face the flak without reacting. And this is a big challenge! You need to understand that this is basic human nature- to criticize. And many a times, most of the criticism would be from the near and dear ones. The people whom you think you are close to. The best way to deal with it is – just don’t get too much bogged down with it. Just listen and filter out the trash- the small talks of small people! Keep in mind one thing- never inflate your ego when showered with praise and similarly never get bogged down when pelted with criticism. You should ensure that your character remains constant in all circumstances. You basic character should not change with time or situation.
Along with unwanted criticism, you may also have to face with insults and humiliation. In all situations, hold your head high and maintain your self-respect. There may be occasions, especially when dealing with close family members or during a critical job/business related situation, where you have to swallow your pride. Never mind! No one can take away your pride from you… you have earned it and it will always remain with you. Sometimes, when the winds blow very hard during storm, the gentle trees have to bend so that they can get straight again after the storm recedes. Mentally strong people behave like the gentle trees!
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.’ ― Dale Carnegie
Mentally strong people are not afraid of failure. They understand that to achieve success they have to pass through the lanes and by-lanes of failure. And failing not once but multiple times! In fact they take lessons from their failures and ensure that they are not repeating the same mistakes again. Treat every failure as an event and always tell yourself- there would be another opportunity or rather many more opportunities!
So, who’s afraid of the failures? Not You!
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.’ ― Winston S. Churchill
Mentally strong people don’t expect much from others. They are aware of the reality and are intelligent enough to manage alone if required. Once you start expecting from others…then you will be inviting only pain and disillusionment for yourself.
No, don’t ever expect from others because your expectations would never be met! The realities are very harsh and painful. Be prepared to accept that. Mentally strong people tread their path cautiously and never get derailed during their journey. If they get help along the way…it’s fine! Otherwise they find their own way to reach their goal. They move towards their goal with all the zeal and gusto…even if at times they have to tread it all alone.
“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.’
― Alexander Pope
Mentally strong people never complain of their problems and discomforts. They bear the pain and ensure that they are performing their duties and delivering the results. You will see a gentle calmness on their face and in their behaviour. They will not make noise of the challenges that they face but would rather engage themselves in finding solutions. And, ultimately they do find solutions! That is what Mentally Strong people are made of! And once they are done with their job or have achieved their goal they will never brag about it. They will quietly move to their next goal or to the next obligation.
So, to become Mentally Strong, your focus should be to find solutions to the challenges you face in adverse conditions rather than making noise or getting panicked.
“Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.’ ― Lou Holtz
Life will never be easy. When you are done with one issue, two more will crop up! And the cycle will continue. What is the point in getting upset or to feel bad about it? Get your act together and ensure that you are Mentally Strong enough to tackle all the challenges that life has to throw!
And by the way, did you know that most of the sports people believe that it requires 90% mental toughness and 10% physical fitness to win the game??