Once upon a time, in a bustling office, there was a weekly meeting that everyone dreaded. It was notorious for its long duration and seemingly endless discussions.
One day, the office manager decided to spice things up. He entered the meeting room with a huge jar filled with colourful marbles. He announced, “Today, we’re going to make this meeting more interactive. For every unnecessary tangent or off-topic discussion, I’m going to drop a marble into this jar.”
As the meeting progressed, the marbles started piling up surprisingly quickly. It did not take long for the jar to become a colourful tower of marbles, resembling a modern art sculpture.
With each “ping” of a marble hitting the jar, people could not help but suppress laughter. It became a challenge to keep the marbles from overflowing. Even the most verbose contributors started self-regulating their comments, trying to avoid being the cause of another “marble moment.”
By the end of the meeting, the jar of marbles had become the meeting’s unofficial mascot. It served as a quirky reminder that time was precious and that staying on topic was a collective effort.
From then on, the meetings were known as the “Marble Meetings,” and they became more efficient and engaging. People realized that humour could be a powerful tool to remind them to stay focused and make the most of their time together.
And so, amid marbles and laughter, the team learned that a little fun could go a long way in making even the most dreaded meetings a bit more enjoyable.
A bullying boss can create a toxic work environment, damage your confidence, and affect your mental health.
So, how to manage this Bully?
Here are some strategies to ponder:
Identify the Bullying Behaviour: This can include verbal abuse, public humiliation, excessive criticism, favouritism, and unreasonable demands. Take note of the specific behaviour and document it.
Set Boundaries: Make it clear to your boss what behaviours are unacceptable and let them know how you expect to be treated. This will help you to protect your self-esteem and maintain your dignity in the workplace.
Stay Professional: Stay professional at all times! Avoid getting defensive or angry. Communicate your concerns clearly and respectfully, and avoid any personal attacks. Focus on the facts. Still, if your boss continues to behave inappropriately, report the behaviour to HR or a higher authority if necessary.
Seek Support: Talk to a trusted colleague/senior or a mentor/coach about your situation. They can offer guidance on how to handle the situation.
And lastly, know your rights! Research your company’s policies and procedures regarding bullying and harassment. If you feel that your boss’s behaviour is crossing the line, speak to HR or a higher authority.
In case, you see that the above is not giving any results, the best option left is to look for other opportunities. These can be within the organisation or outside the organisation. The more time you spend in the current situation, the more harm you will be doing to yourself!
One of the main reasons for bullying is ‘Insecurity & Fear’. Remember, you deserve to work in a respectful and supportive workplace, and it’s okay to speak up if your boss’s behaviour is unacceptable.
I believe the phrase has been coined by Marshall Goldsmith, the world-renowned executive coach, and leadership thinker. And the thought process behind this phrase is that the habits, behaviours, and attitudes that have helped us succeed in the past may not necessarily be the ones that will help us achieve our future goals.
As we journey through life, we often find ourselves reflecting on the things that have brought us to where we are today. We take pride in our accomplishments, and rightly so. However, as much as we should celebrate our successes, it is important to remember that what got us to this point may not be enough to take us further.
You might have got an excellent break based on your academic qualifications but still might be struggling in the corporate environment!
You might have performed brilliantly in your previous roles but find it going tough in your new role!
The same might be true in your personal life as well. You might have excellent relationships with your friends and colleagues but your family(marital) life might be a disaster! It happens!!
So, the habits, behaviours, and attitudes that have helped us succeed in the past may not necessarily be the ones that will help us achieve our future goals.
The bottom line is that we need to continuously evolve with time.
How can we do that?
Some tips to ponder:
Embrace a growth mindset: Keep learning, evolving, and improving.
Be open to feedback: It might help you to identify your blind spots.
Identify areas for improvement: Reflect on the skills, habits, and attitudes that have helped you succeed so far, and then identify the ones that you need to develop to achieve your future goals.
And lastly, stop blaming others and external factors. It’s about you and only you can make that change!
Remember, you have to be willing to take risks, try new things, and push yourself beyond your limits to achieve greater success!
Does failures make you more resilient and better prepared to achieve success?
Resilience is essential for personal growth and success, as it allows individuals to face challenges and overcome adversity. In a world that is constantly changing, resilience enables individuals to adapt and thrive, even in the face of uncertainty and stress.
For individuals, resilience is important because it helps them to cope with stress and adversity, and maintain a positive outlook even in the face of challenges. When individuals are resilient, they are better able to manage stress, overcome obstacles, and maintain their mental and emotional well-being.
How can you be more resilient?
Factors that Influence Resilience
Personal Characteristics: Personal characteristics such as optimism, a positive outlook, and a strong sense of self-worth play a critical role in resilience. Individuals who are optimistic and have a positive outlook are better able to cope with stress and adversity, and maintain their mental and emotional well-being.
Life Experiences: Life experiences, such as childhood experiences and exposure to stress and trauma, can also play a role in resilience. Individuals who have experienced stress and trauma in their lives often develop stronger coping mechanisms and a greater capacity to withstand stress and adversity.
Support Systems: Support systems, such as family, friends, and community, play a critical role in resilience. Individuals who have strong support systems are better able to cope with stress and adversity, and maintain their mental and emotional well-being.
Coping Mechanisms: Positive coping mechanisms, such as exercise, mindfulness, and seeking support from others, play a critical role in resilience. These coping mechanisms can help individuals to manage stress, overcome obstacles, and maintain their mental and emotional well-being.
How can you be more resilient?
Building Resilience
Building resilience is a process that requires individuals to develop specific skills and attitudes. Here are some strategies for building resilience:
Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of bringing one’s attention to the present moment. When individuals are mindful, they are better able to manage stress and maintain their mental and emotional well-being. Mindfulness can be practiced through activities such as meditation, yoga, and deep breathing exercises.
Develop a Positive Outlook: Developing a positive outlook is critical for building resilience. Individuals who have a positive outlook are better able to cope with stress and adversity, and maintain their mental and emotional well-being. A positive outlook can be developed through activities such as positive self-talk, gratitude practices, and focusing on solutions rather than problems.
Seek Support: Seeking support from others is critical for building resilience. Individuals who have strong support systems are better able to cope with stress and adversity.
Pointers to keep in mind
Self-awareness: Understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and values.
Mindfulness: Cultivating awareness of the present moment and reducing stress.
Positive self-talk: Reframing negative thoughts and beliefs into positive ones.
Social support: Building and maintaining healthy relationships with family, friends, and community.
Problem-solving skills: Developing effective strategies for coping with challenges.
Flexibility: Being open to new perspectives and adaptable to changing circumstances.
Healthy habits: Taking care of physical and mental health through exercise, nutritious eating, and adequate sleep.
Gratitude: Fostering a positive outlook by focusing on what you are thankful for.
Sense of purpose: Finding meaning and fulfilment in life through personal values, passions, and goals.
Persistence: Maintaining determination and perseverance in the face of obstacles and setbacks.
Often, we hear this from the people around us or we might use or have used these phrases.
So, how true is that?
Not at all true!!
Why you cannot change when the change can do you much better compared to the harm the status quo is doing to you? And you can change at any point in your life…
You might have been doing it for years but if it is not producing results or not meeting expectations then what is the use of continuing to do the same thing over and over again?
You need to rock the boat if the boat is not taking you anywhere!
Yes, as simple as that!
The bottom line is that we need to change…change for the good.
Change the habits that are harming you, change your friends if they don’t make you happy, change the environment if it does not let you grow…and lastly, change your old self if you are not happy with yourself.
Embrace the change!
Fall, fail, and hurt yourself…but in the end, you will be thankful to yourself and feel proud that you dared to change the status quo.
Do not reach that stage where the pain of maintaining the status quo becomes much more than the pain of embracing the change!
But many a times situations are such that it really becomes difficult to keep going!
So, how do we keep going then?
Simple…just keep going!!
Now, that ‘keep going’ can be even following your normal routine without taking any action. In fact, ‘not taking any action’ is also a form of ‘action’ as you are just not sure what action to take! When you have multiple stakeholders to take care of and if it is really tough to act without any idea of the what the results would be…what action can you take?
But that is the beauty of life and the challenges that it throws all the time!
So, the best option is…still to keep going.
How?
Continue doing what you have been doing (follow your normal routine) and at the same time, pause whenever you can, and look at the bigger picture of what is happening around you. Try to find out where is the issue or the real mess. Pinpoint the major obstacle(s) and attack it (kill it) first. Every problem has a solution howsoever big it may appear or actually might be. Giving away or giving up is the simplest solution and the most stupid one.
